Saturday, April 14, 2012

Jual Mahal

Jual Mahal isn't a bad thing at all.

'Errmm.. darling. Call me back later, I'm watching Oprah now..'

Even the very married me would 'flag up' the Jual Mahal mode whenever situation turns moldy :p

Jual Mahal means, don't be too easy. Hold back a little, and make him think a bit. If you don't leave any room at all for him to think and wonder, he'll get bored fast and before you know it, he'd start to be somewhat distant. 

Men can be weird, at times. You give them too much, they'll choke of boredom. You show less affection,... they go look for another. Or maybe not?? You think they'll run away correct?? Well, not necessarily. But I'm not going into that today, today I'd like to give my views on the Jual Mahal part.

Have you ever thought why men sometimes suddenly lose interest? One of the most obvious reasons why is, simply, they're bored. Bored because the relationship has lost its mojo. Bored because the lady doesn't play that hard-to-get part, enough (but not too much ya). Bored because the lady was too clingy. Bored because the woman lets her man label her as a back end call (too easy, available to go out anytime). Bored because sudah habis manis... Yeaa..

Not easy looking for that right someone. Even with all the perfect 'Match Made In Heaven' handbook doesn't prepare us for the sudden change of heart. But we do know when he's acting weird, behaving abnormally than usual. Before putting the blame on the guy, why not look for what we actually did wrong first. Always, we'd say we didn't do anything wrong, we did what supposedly would make him happy, and always there for him. Maybe those were the things you shouldn't do, altogether at once!

Especially in the first trimester (errmm.. like pregnancy lah) of the relationship, try to hold back a bit. Try to visit his work place less frequent. Keep that phone away a bit, because texting him too often may appear you're being possessive, and too clingy. Some men just don't fancy that at all because he likes his space. 

This one friend I know, she's happily married now. Years years ago, on one very fine day, she called in between heavy sobs asking me where her boyfriend was because she hasn't heard from him in two days. No goodbye, calls not returned, he was just suddenly uncontactable. The guy's a distant relative, so I somehow managed to get to the bottom of things. 

What happened was, the boyfriend brought her to meet his grandmother. Chatting happily to granny all the little 'didn't-have-to-tell' details on her family to granny. One of them was telling granny that in their household, her mom doesn't cook for dad. Dad cooks for himself if he needs to eat -__-

When girlfriend sent home, granny quickly told darling grandson not to make her his wife, ever! Unless he prefers a wife who doesn't cook for her husband. So, he disappeared. She never heard from him after that. What he did was wrong, but I guess he just didn't know how to break if off nicely, so, he did it the ugly way. 

My point is, the 'something went wrong' in the relationship may not have caused by the guy. It could be what you did, or what you said. 

Back to Jual Mahal, with a guy (in the early part of the relationship), make him wait sometimes. When he asks you out after a few dates, try say no in between. When he calls, tell him you'll call back, but, maybe, maybe one or two times, don't call back. Let him call... Yup! Make him wait, and wonder. 

Simply, Jual Mahal a bit laaa... :)


Alv0808 said...

Hahahhaaa...good one. I'm always jual mahal one until its become habit too me, which I think is not really good. Mesti mau pandai 'tarik tali 'juga right? hehehe

Ida BorneoLove said...

Heeheee.. that's the word! Tarik tali! Eh, jangan jadi habit & kebiasaan ya ;)

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