Thursday, January 12, 2012

Your Friend The Ego

Julie & Girl (Carmilla)

I'm turning 39 this year and syukur alhamdulillah, I am grateful with what God has given me. There are a lot of things that I wish I could have but, I'm not about to dwell on what I don't have. And most certainly I'm not gonna ponder over why and how some hurtful incidents happened the way it did. 

We make choices in our lives to be close with whomever we're comfortable with, be it our colleagues, cousins, long time childhood friends or even our hairdresser. Being close does not mean being inseparable 24/7 but, to be able to reach out and have someone there to listen and talk to. And to offer help in whatever form is nothing to be calculative about, especially when your friend's life is heading downhill. 

Whenever I see Julie's face, all I could remember was the time we played together when we're young... She was about 5, and I was slightly older. Going through my album I realize she's the 'oldest' friend that I have a photo taken together with. Hmmm.. Meaning, I've known Julie forrrrrrr... a bit more than 30 years! *blink blink*

And Girl, as she's known, I first met her some *taking out my calculator, excuse me* 25 years ago! Okay lah... no need to get all surprised-woohooooo-time-flies now ya!

So be sure to be more appreciative of time sista.

You must be wondering why they are in the same coloured top/jubah. Julie & Girl are sisters to the groom and bride, respectively. And yes, they've know one another quite a long time too. Yup, it has begun. You're gonna start talking about a friend's sibling marrying one of your younger relatives, then, before long, you'll be sitting with  your girlfriends and gasping on the fact that a friend's son will be marrying another friend's daughter! Ohhh! That'd be so cool. Old time friends brought together by marriage :D Me like. 

Fact; My father and father-in-law used to cycle (sports bikes you!) around town together in groups and joined races with their other friends. My husband's late paternal grandmother amused me with the little story. 

Mordiah & Tati, 2008

Current colleagues,
Syira & Hana

Heida & Anor

There's nothing worse than a backstabbing malicious black-hearted colleague! Woohhh..! Saying that stresses me out, that's one powerful colleague... Mmmm, but not for long. No, the one we encountered didn't last, she's out!! Thank goodness! For me, the work place is already like a second home and for it to be filled with negative aura is very depressing that it sucks out the life out of you .

I'm lucky to have supportive people working around me. It is better to face heavy workload with 3 caring colleagues than, to be stuck with 20 donkeys! Most of us has experienced this, no doubt. They teach us though... agree?

Funny how facebook has changed my social circle, for the good that is. We know mostly what our friends are up to and how many children they already have, to date *wink*. Heida & Anor (awesome local cake bakers) first met at my event. They are both my fb friends and now, they're communicating & have cute little lunches together without inviting me :(

ahhh.. Kidding! Heheeee :p I am so glad they are friends now :)

Meeting friends at weddings would have me arriving home with an almost-dead cell phone. I will, if I can, pulled a friend (or two) from a chair and insist that they smile to my camera phone. "Cheese! Now SAY cheeeeesse!!" Anddd... Walla! An album full of pictures with my beautiful friends for the walk through the memory lane in ten/twenty years to come. 

I met Shaliza when I was 17 (I was just done with SPM then) and we weren't close. But now, her daughter Misya & my daughter Seri have been close friends ever since they were in primary school. Somehow, that brought Shaliza and I closer, in a way. I'd bump into  Shaliza at lunch sometimes (what a plus, we work in neighbouring buildings) and I'll sit with her at the same table. Eating with our mouths wide open is what people around us are mostly annoyed with, what do you expect?? That's the only time we have to catch up on school and work. Result, rice, chicken meat flying out of our non-stop-talking-while-eating mouths and sodas dripping down from our chins. Ermmm... Our daughters would not recall that we're they loving cute-in-kurungs mommies ;)

But the ordeal I faced recently has forced me to sit back and think hard. 

Trying to dig real deep inside my brain, rewinding..., have anyone ever called me an 'ego' before. When you went out of your way to help someone, and IF you knew you're gonna end up saying, ''I shouldn't have helped..", would you have done it anyway??

I don't think anyone ever shot that word at me before. Nope. Hmm.. ikut suka lah.

When a friend is in distress or, in need of a helping hand, you will do whatever you can to lessen the burden. But later, if you're responded with disrespectful and disheartening remarks for showing your concern, you could only weep in silence. Saddened by disappointing attitude, one has no choice but to step back and get out of the way. 

It's been awhile since I last felt that sharp pain piercing through my gut. Yeah, I have had my fair share of hurtful incidents, but that recent one was not as bad compare to some few others I experienced. Time will show you that there are a lot more to be thankful for...., my long legs for instance ;)

Do you realize that, when you're going into the silence mode, people would start to listen? Hmmm... just a thought. 

This does not mean I'll be avoiding friends at lunches, or quit to have pics taken with them, let alone ignoring friends' requests for assistance. I know better now. I've greater things to worry me anyways. Mmmm... That sounded super ego. 

Rahah & Shaliza

To the fair girl in glasses with gorgeous hair colour I met 
this morning at the kopitiam,

Thanks love! Readers like you make it all worthwhile ;)
And I love the nasi lemak too! Sambal nyaman abis :D


∂α∂уαиα said...

what to do, kak. we can't expect everyone has the same good personalities. hoping u'll have more nice days ahead :)

Ida BorneoLove said...

Dadyana, u're correct dear. And can't make everyone happy right? U have a good weekend too lovely :)

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