Saturday, November 12, 2011

Facing My Fear @ Work

Smiling ear to ear before leaving for a press conference.
No, not because I was so so happy & excited to do it, all for me to tell myself it wasn't gonna be that bad..., I might fumble a little, just hoping that I won't trip or step onto any of the GM's foot -_-

If I had a choice, I would like to do the ordinary admin/accounts work and be placed in my cubicle from 8 to 5, for five days a week only. Of course, organizing events is clearly my forte but I feel and I want to work less during weekends. My children are growing too fast and the only time that I have spared to spend precious hours with them are the weekends. Now I have less weekend... *sigh*

Our new corporate shirt, here modeled by my sister colleague, Elvie :)
(not that corporat-y formal, quite laid back & relaxed, but still smart-looking)

Organizing goody bags for members of the press & media

Sound check,
was sweating like mad though the room temperature resembles 
the coldness inside a freezer. 
oh ya! I made sure I was hidden away from people's view at the very corner of the room

Emceeing a formal press conference scares me. I haven't done much of it but when duty calls, the office table was simply not big enough to hide my whole body. If the drawer fit, I would have hid in it! Nerve-wrecking is not the word to describe how I was feeling before the 'Canon Damai PhotoShoot' PC begins last Tuesday. It was more like... Fear, Panic, Apprehensive, Anxious... all combined into one! Result> A mushy cake -___-

*I'll take that mushy cake, you take that emceeing thingy..*
Okay, I don't know what I was talking about... whatever...

"Kak Ida, you have a script, why are you sweating too much over this?"

That was it!! I never needed a script for any of my emceeing. But, when there was a 'proper' (proper spells>>> ten-sion) script specially prepared for Tuesday's PC, I was haunted with horrible nightmares last weekend! What if I suddenly froze?? Or, or.., worse! What if I blacked out!!?

-oh man-

I seriously wanted OUT!

Having the fear of standing in front of a crowd is nothing to laugh about, really. You could suffer a heart attack if it started to get too hard to handle. Ok.. Okay...... Standing, I can do. Just imagine that, the people in front of me are yummy roasted chicken drumsticks, no pro-ble-mo. They 'seem' so yummy smiling gleefully is a piece of cake! Noooo sweaattttt!

But, picture this scary atmosphere... Standing there, with people in suits & ties with the biggest title stamped before their names seated right before me, waiting for me to say something, with their eyes bulging out of their sockets staring at the little midget me... Not a pretty sight. (ehemm.. they were kind as a matter of fact, no one threw eggs at me, pheww...) 

I was turning cold from the feet up. My heart was pumping out of my chest! Making eye contacts with my colleagues signalling (looked like my eyes were twitching non-stop) to them they needed to find a replacement for me right there and then proved to no avail. Then it struck me! Borneo Love was not about to ruin an important Press Conference. 

Clutching the mic any harder would have broken it into two... Suddenly words just started floating out of my mouth... Before I know it, it was over.

Yeah... I did it. It was nice to be congratulated later that I did a good job, still, what I dislike the most about it all was the hours and moments right before I did it. The unpleasantness of preparing myself to face my fear is torturous. 

Any takers?? 


I have a super cool job, I admit that. Just that the emceeing part is making my heart goes roller coaster whenever an event is drawing nearer. Again, I do wish I could have most weekends to myself, for my family. Can't have everything, can you? For the record, I am utterly grateful for this job and appreciate all the opportunities that I've been given that comes with it, which also includes Facing my Fear. Without it, I would be peeking outside the Sushi King window pressing my flat nose against the glass window only to watch people eating my favorite sashimi. The delectable sumptuous pricy salmon sashimi.

Boss, I'd like to keep my job, Thank You!

*nae... he's not reading this........ Is HE??* O.O


Chii said...

speaking in front of public scares me a lot. i'll avoid it, if i could :))

Ida BorneoLove said...

Ohhh.. Wish I could do that, but, work is work. Whatever comes with it, need to face them :)

RaMa-RaMa Fareeza said...

goosebump...butterfly in the stomach..semua ada...nang neves kakar depan org...but bila dah berada di tempat kejadian..just redah jaklah :)

Ida BorneoLove said...

Haa! That's the correct word :) REDAH!!

Anonymous said...

Good writing.

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