Saturday, July 3, 2010

Short 18 Years

Can't help it, wanted to cry. Closed the door just now without buying the 'kacang bendi' that the little 8 year boy old was selling.

"How old are you?" I asked.
"Eight.." he answered.
"You're alone?"
"With my sis.."
"Where is she?"
"Somewhere at the back..selling the veges too."
"Who asked you to sell?"
"Bapak.."
"Where is he?"
"He's at home.."
"What did he tell you to do?"
"He asked me to sell these..." looking down at his plastic bag full of 'kacang bendi'.

I gave him RM2, to share with his sister. Did not take the veges... Pity little kids, it's a Saturday morning and most kids are still sleeping or enjoying breakfast at home, relaxing.

We try to help wherever we can... It wasn't much, but it was suppose to make me feel good?? Enough? Should have given more? But you can't keep giving, well, yes you can but... They might come and come again.. Would that be wrong? No, but I can't let that be a habit for that little boy to keep coming back because I gave the most generous tips. Once in awhile would be okay, I guess...

Sayang told me few times he saw another young boy selling veges at midnight at the petrol station.. and sometimes saw the same boy outside the bank when sayang withdrew cash from ATM machine at night. I cannot start to imagine having to ask my kids to be outside our home, at night and sit by the five foot way selling veges to help the family. They are just kids.

I had to see the doctor the other day, had to take sick leave for a day. Was having a continuous headache and I was advised to drink more syrup and isotonic drinks after working out. Working out.. hee hee.. I joined an aerobic session on Wednesday morning and it's been years since I've done it. Didn't drink enough after that and suffer low blood pressure and dehydration. "My nose is still snuffling since last Sunday doc"... Doc said it wasn't serious, nothing to worry about.

18 years old, new chapter

4 years old, Kiddy

1st Birthday

26.6.2010, UITM admission day..
Ayu with Papa & siblings


On 26.6.2010, was my eldest Ayu Zulaika's UITM admission day. It was also my 37th birthday. What a special day it was! When you bring your children into the world, naturally you would only wish for the best for them. One of which is to see them excel in their studies and be a good and humble citizen of the nation (wow.. so patriotic).

We left the house very early and reached UITM Kota Samarahan around 8. I was so relieved that Ayu and three of her form 5 x-classmates managed to get a room to share. Yes, me & her dad are very happy and sad too.. she's not living at home anymore. Eighteen years seem so short. 

We hugged and say our goodbyes. I was okay.. till we left her dorm and I looked up, looking for her window and there she was waving at us with a huge smile on her face. I waved back and walked to the car with sayang, Seri, Hani & Arman. Tears started streaming down my face, non stop all the way back to Kuching. At some points, I got so so sad tears just wouldn't stop. Tried to control but whenever I thought of Ayu, I started to cry again and again and again. I cried for a good 2-3 hours. 

The next morning, sayang was commenting how lonely it felt without Ayu around.. Rain Rain Rain.. All over again! "Sayang, please stop saying that... I'm gonna cry again." And I did, the whole morning. And that is where I got this snuffling. People talking to me on the phone thought I had a cold. Naaaee.. it ain't the cold. Thought I was being so silly, crying like a baby. Missing my baby :(

Sad but proud, happy and excited for Ayu. Yup, she's doing okay. Everyone was asking me how she was doing, and some asked how I was doing. I'm better now and that is also because I know Ayu is enjoying herself. If she's happy, I am happier :')

Ayu with her roomies
I printed this photo in colour and got it laminated for Ayu to put it up on their door :)

9 comments:

Kenny De said...

congrats to ayu and hapi belated birthday to u sis :) ..hehe.. have a nice day to u and ur family.. :)

mummysyafie said...

congrats to ayu..nowdays susah nak masuk uitm induk sis. even my cuz just dapat offer tuk masuk cawangan uitm rah bangi. tats mean..ayu orang bertuah ya..

so tiz week dah start orentasi sidak nya owh??hihihi...teringat zaman mek dolok. take care sis..

Ida Athanazir said...

kenny.. tq so much. Thoughtful of you, take care and keep blogging.

mummysyafie.. yup. orientasi week. She starts class on Monday and she's so xcited bout it. I'm missing her but she loves it there, so that makes me happy.

Felicia F. Ramzi said...

cepat masa berlalu.. the next thing u know, nya nak masuk 19 sik lamak gik..fuh, dah masuk adulthood arum bulak.. :) congrats to her and happy belated bday to you okai

[z@ck] said...

wah..dah masuk U dah anak sis..
all the best to her
=)

Gallivanter said...

Congrats! But I'm touched by the kids selling vegetables. I hope their father had a VALID reason to stay at home!!

Noreen Ruszalin said...

congrats ;)
btw my sis pun belajar at the same place. hehe

Anonymous said...

tahniah untuk adik Ayu.

Ida Athanazir said...

tq tq tq sisters!! terharu rasa :,)

stay in touch and continue blogging!!

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