About 2 years ago, a friend came to me for advice. She was single then and not the kind of person who you think would do anything out of the ordinary.
She got to know this guy through a relative, after about I think 2 or 3 meetings and texting for 2 months, the guy asked for her hand in marriage. She needed someone to talk to and maybe with me being married for so long, she thought I'd know more about relationships (I don't, still learning...). The problem was, the guy was already married, with childrennnnnn. When she described him to me, I already guessed who he was. Kuching is a very small town and everybody knows everyone. He was my friend's husband and a father to my daughters' girlfriends.
I laid out the scenario being a 'madu' (a second wife) to her, everything, I mean everything (it took me 2 hours talking to her), specially the non good ones. Financially, emotionally .... everything. I did not opposed to her wanting to marry nor did I support the idea. Getting married is a good thing, but marrying another woman's husband is a different story altogether. Especially when the other woman is a dear friend of mine and she has growing children (more than 4 children ....). And I try not to take sides either, I said to her, "You're an adult. You can think and make your own decision. It's your life". I kept telling her, whatever decision she made, I would always be behind her. And I told her too, "Don't say I didn't warn you."
Now, they are happily married and have an adorable little bundle of joy, and my friend, she is now a single mother. We met on a few gatherings, she (the single mother) & I talked about what the x-husband did and how he treated her. Like I said, I tried not to take sides but I feel sorry for her kids because I have kids too. Then again, I still want to be a good friend to both of my friends. Life goes on ...