Tuesday, January 27, 2009

To Have & To Hold

My parents got divorced when I was 16. I remember it was years back it all actually started (trouble in paradise , so called ... ) . 

What do they say... ? To Have & To Hold ? To have yes, but not to hold. 

Someone close to me just got divorced recently. She is happier now compared to the time she was married. So funny, my mom got divorced when my mom was about her age. My younger sister has a steady boyfriend but 'afraid' to tie the knot. She said, the chances are her marriage is gonna be 50% like my marriage and 50% gonna end up like my mom's.

It's not easy finding your soul mate. Sometimes, you just know it. My husband knew that I'm his soul mate the first few times we went out together, I was about 16 then and he was 18. They said you were too young, what do you know about love??

The most important thing is he/she makes you happy. You know if he cares or if he doesn't really care. If there's doubt, give it more time. Don't rush but give it time. You will know if he/she is the one, but still if there is doubt and no 100% trust .... give it more time. But don't wait too long.

Talking bout doubt, my sis once asked me, "Kak Ida, have you ever have doubt with Abang Athan?" "No." I answered her. She asked again "Not even once?!!" "No, never." I said to her.

Keeping marriage together isn't easy, specially when you have children to feed, school, loans to pay, other people (family & friends) to stay in touch with to keep everyone happy .... My mom have a soft heart, she got 'advices' , nags , from both sides, her own family & her in-laws. She lost it, lost herself literally. No one helped her through it. I can't imagine how she must have felt. Her other half didn't make it easier for her so she went back to her parents' home. Of course, she is much happier now, syukur alhamdulillah. She had to hold herself together. Make it work because she was looking after her ageing parents. They are gone now.

No body wants to end up alone. I want to grow old and see my children live a happy life, happy marriage. Be tolerant and be patient. There were lots of shoutings and fightings and yellings. So not good for children, take it from me, I've been there.


Athanazir MK said...

Love you Dek!!! :x ...the sweetest thang!

Ida Athanazir said...

Love you too sayang ....

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